I never want to look away
by Sophiacharlotte
Summary: Sometimes the first step is the hardest one. Caryl (smut)


AN: well this just came from nowhere. Hope you enjoy. One shot set at ASZ. Let me know what you think :)

I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead.

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"Fucking hell, what a fucking time for the generators to quite."

Carol turned with a grin as Daryl barrelled into the kitchen. Dripping wet. Rain splattered his hair, he whipped his head back and shook out his shaggy hair in a motion that reminded her of a dog.

She giggled "Here let me get you a towel, you're getting water everywhere." She said, she watched him dry himself off, then turned to the window "Must be a hurricane" she said nawing her lip, it was nerve wracking, not knowing the weather forecast.

Daryl huffed and nodded "it's right the of year, although late in the season, I'd say your right...where is everybody?"

"Rick and Michonne are on duty, Carl dragged Judith's portable crib down to the basement den and turned the propane fireplace on. They are sleeping down there. Glenn and Maggie are with them." She said as she heated him up some soup on a kerosene stove the safe zone had provided them.

"You sleeping down there?" He asked.

She shook her head no with a smile. "I think I will bundle up under a few extra blankets...that den is tiny, I would get no sleep."

He nodded as he slurped back the bowl of soup that she had heated up and they idly chatted about the storm and the wheather.

They made their way up stairs. The house was two and a half stories. The half story was a landing and three doors, two bedrooms and one small bathroom. Carol had instantly fallen in love with her little bedroom under the eaves, the beautiful skylights making feel free, she'd gotten used to the sky up above her. The houses in the safe zone were gorgeous. Not something she could have afforded in her previous life.

She was pretty sure Daryl had chosen the other bedroom to keep an eye on her. Make sure she didn't run off. She didn't mind.

It was sweet really, she could sense in him the need to be close to her, his longing. He was like a moon that always circled her. Sometimes he drifted farther away on his path, but he always came back. They we're connected.

He hadn't pushed her to talk. To empty her soul to him. He understood her. He needed to feel his pain to get past it, to move beyond it. She couldn't. She couldn't let herself fall into some pit of despair. If she fell she'd never get up, she'd drown in her sorrow. It was best left unsaid. He knew she felt it in her own way. He knew her heart was shattered in a million pieces. She wasn't sure if he knew he was the glue that held it still together.

She loved them all, her family. She would do anything for them. Sacrifice her life, body and soul. Nothing mattered more than that. But she loved Daryl most of all. She had never know she could love like that.

An all encompassing feeling. Knowing someone's very soul. She knew he loved her too. They could have more if they wanted it, she'd caught him looking at her with heat in his eyes more than once, only to turn away quickly and blush.

That was the problem, Carol had always know that if they were to be something more, it would have to be her. She would have to make the effort, the move. Daryl had never gotten past certain insecurities from his childhood. She knew he would never put himself in that position.

He sent mixed signals. Staring at her so intently her toes would curl and heat would race to her core one minute, the next growling and cranky. Sometimes he seemed to want to touch her all the time, his hands finding excuses to brush her back when they walked by each other and other times he would flinch if her fingers touched his when handing him his laundry.

She didn't know if he was ready and she had a few insecurities of her own. She knew he loved her, knew he wanted her, but if he wasn't ready for what she offered she wasn't prepared to face that rejection.

So they were in a holding pattern she thought as she snuggled under the blankets the wind howling outside her window and the rain splattering on it. Safe in the knowledge that he was across the hall. There if she needed him, her own personal moon.

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She wasn't sure what woke her. She sat up straight in bed gasping, ears instantly alert, her "stolen" gun in her hand. She slipped out of bed, she was wearing a pair of sweats and and a t shirt to combat the October chill, in the night air. She inched her way towards the door, ears on alert to any noise. Then she heard the moan.

It wasn't a walker, it was Daryl. He was moaning "No!" She could hear him repeating it over and over. She tensed unsure what she would find as she opened his door.

Her heart broke at the sight. Daryl was on his back obviously asleep in the throes of a violent nightmare. His brow was scrunched up his torso wracked with sweat, the thunder boomed and he screamed.

He wouldn't want the others to hear that, or know he was having a nightmare even though they all had them. She approached the bed slowly unsure the best way to wake him.

She felt a hitch in breath, at his next words "Carol...don't leave me." He muttered. His pain seemed to sear right down into her soul. He calmed then, defeated in his dream, desolated, his chin lagging down. She sighed and pulled his blankets up. Sliding in next to him.

"Daryl...I'm right here" she whispered sliding in next to him. She sliding in closer all the while hoping he wouldn't wake and lash out at her being next to him. She couldn't ignore his pain though. Something's were worth risking rejection for.

She rubbed his arms slowly cooing and whispering to him that he was safe, that she was safe, that they were safe, they were together.

His eyes drifted open, a lone tear trapped in his lashes. He hesistated for a moment when he watched her, but only a moment before his arms banded around her, pulling her in, impossible close. His face in her neck.

They stayed that way for a long time. Neither inclined to move. His hands clutched her tightly as though he was scared she would disappear. The rain and wind howling on the outside.

She felt the change in him, he seemed to relax his fingers clutching at her, kneading her back, and then she heard him deeply inhale her scent and then attempt to stiffle a groan. His warm breath flowed over her neck and she felt goosebumps dance along her skin, circling down her spine.

She waited to see what he would do, Carol could sense that he was probably doing the exact same thing. Both of them poised on the brink of jumping in with both feet, both scarred and scared of rejection.

She would do it, she would make the first move, she thought...screw it, and that was when she felt his tongue flick out and the tip trace a trail up her neck. Well, message received Pookie she thought, licking wasn't exactly something friends do to other friends.

He moaned pressing his forehead to her shoulder, his hips pressing into her ever so slightly, the obvious evidence of his arousal, pushing into her thigh.

She needed to show him, to give him a sign that all of his actions were accepted, his move not only wanted, but eagerly accepted. He hadn't jumped in with both feet yet, he was dipping his toe in the water, testing the temperature she thought.

Well in for a penny, in for a pound she thought, time to be brave to. She lifted her hand and slid it down his side slowly, coming to rest on his ass. She squeezed slightly, placing enough pressure on her hand that his hips bucked into her again, this time making contact with her core.

He all but whimpered, grabbing her hips, pulling her close, and grinding his erection in between her legs. He started a rhythm of bump and grind, the friction against her core had her panting with want as his lips, sucked hungrily on her neck. He hadn't looked at her yet, hand't kissed her lips. She had a feeling in that moment that would overwhelm him, it would overwhelm her.

She held onto his shoulders as thrust against her. The soft sweats they were both wearing barely any barrier at all.

He was panting as he pulled away, his chest heaving his face still not quite able to meet her eyes. His fingers caressed the skin above her waistband where her t shirt had raised. They were shaking, she looked up at his face and watched the almost awe that spread across him when he touched her.

He flattened his palm across her belly, his warmth radiating into her. She sighed in contentment and watched as he closed his eyes, holding his hand to her skin, like he was committing the moment to memory. Like he didn't want the moment to end.

But soon he tilted his hand downward, coming to rest just above the waistband of her pants. His fingertips sliding slightly below and the his fingernails idly scraping back up. He was waiting again, making sure she wanted this, doubting himself even now.

She shivered at the feel of his hand almost tickling the skin above her mound. It was making her crazy. She lowered her hand and pushed slightly on his, letting him know she wanted it.

He exhaled shakily and slowly pushed his hand past the waistband of her pants, settling to her side, his lips attacking her neck get again. His fingers parted her wet folds and she heard him groan slightly when he realized how wet she was.

He circled her clit maddeningly slow she found her hips thrusting up to meet his hand, wanting more, needing more.

He whimpered out a muffled "Fuck Carol" When he sunk two fingers inside her, his voice was hoarse then when he spoke in almost a gravelly whisper in her ear. "All I've ever done is fucked before, I ain't never been with someone who matters... But...i need you so bad baby." He finished as his fingers pumped into her and he kissed her neck.

"Look at me" she panted, and he did. She placed a hand on his cheek "I need you too."

His face seemed to flare through a million expressions in one instant landing on joy. It seemed to burst out from him, before his lips attacked hers.

He was fast and furious. He kissed her with an abandon. She felt like the most desirable woman on the earth.

"Don't ever leave me." He panted as his lips broke away from hers.

"I won't" she whispered back breathlessly.

Her clothes were thrown off quickly. She hadn't been wearing any underwear a fact that seemed to ignite him even further, as she helped him shed his own clothes.

"I need you so bad, baby." He whispered it over and over like a prayer, a chant.

"You have me, I'm right here." She said.

He lined himself up with her and this time there was no looking away. He pushed into her slowly. He stared down at her as he filled her, eyes never breaking contact. His face was so open, she realized. He was smiling.

"You're smilin'" he said suddenly.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he started to thrust more rapidly wrapping her legs around his waist.

"You feel so good, I finally understand what I've been missing all my life." She whispered bucking her hips.

"Fuck Carol" he muttered "You're so god damn sweet." And then he was lost thrusting into her in a wild rhythm losing control hitting his orgasm.

She didn't think she would orgasm. She hadn't in years with Ed. But the look on his face as he pounded into her had her reaching new heights. His face was pure adoration, she had never been looked at that way in her life, and then he shifted his hips and hit a spot inside her that sparked her to life. She screamed his name, her legs virtually clamped around his waist, trying to bring him closer as waves of pleasure shot through her internal walls spreading out throughout her body.

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He lay on top of her afterward, his weight braced on either side of her head on his arm. Still connected. He continued to press kisses to her face, her neck, her lips, like he didn't want the moment to end.

He pressed his forehead to hers simply staring into her eyes.

"Hey" she said with a cheeky grin.

He smirked and smiled pecking her lips yet again.

"Hey" he said with a gravelly voice. He blushed lowering his eyes. "You're what I've been missing all my life too. You're like the other part of me." He said.

"Oh Daryl, " she said whipping a tear.

"Don't cry.." He murmured flicking his tongue to lick her tear. "Don't.."

"I'm just happy" she said

He nodded and looked up at her "I was pussy at first, didn't want to look at you, scared of what I'd see, now I never want to look away." He whispered.

"I love you." She answered.

His smile then seemed to brighten his face, as she felt him grow hard again inside her. "Love you too."


End file.
